Outburst and recovery
Sometimes I get so tired of being the good, reliable, dependable, smart little girl. I want to do something wild and unpredictable and crazy. But I won't let myself. I won't let myself sneak a sip of my parents liquor, or take some dip from the boys at school, or be a hopeless flirt. I won't let myself be intentionally hateful, or a bad student. I like it sometimes, though. I like always being there for a friend who's at their wits' end, to let them know that I am there for them. I like having good friends, who are good influences. I like being liked and respected by my friends' parents. I like being good, sometimes, and not frightening people with badness. I won't let myself go against a dress code, or disobey my parents, or sneak out of the house at night. I won't let myself kiss a stranger, or have pre-marital sex. I won't let myself break a law. I like it. I like it that pepople can recognize me as a Christian. Thank God for my conscience. Thank God for my love.
But there is something I've noticed: First Sergeant favors the pretty girls as opposed to the boys and us equally dedicated (if not more so) yet not so attractive girls. Seriously! Today he got frustrated and said that if any of us spoke out of turn, we would drop. I needed some paper, so I asked Nayelli if she had any. First Sergeant saw me talking, so I had to drop for 10. Ok, so he wanted Nayelli to drop too. She said she was answering a question, and he says, "Well, what did she ask you?" and she said "She was asking for some paper." I still had to finish my 10, though, but Nayelli didn't have to drop. Now, 15 minutes later, Shelly, one of his known favorite students, was talking. He gave her a warning. he didn't make her drop like me and Courtney, (neither of us are extremely attractive), and Nayelli talked her way out of it. He doesn't favor the boys. Just Brianne, Shelley, and Nayelli (all of whom he rags on, but he still favors them).. That is making me so mad. Sure, I might be blowing this out of proportion. But I thought it was noteworthy, if only in this. No offense intended.
And on a lighter note, I love you all.
Brownie (I changed that.. ha ha!)
posted by Randi at 06:18
6 Comments:
i break dress code. i wear crgo pants, chew gum, wear black and white shoes even though they need to be solid black, and leave mt shirt untucked. Even though I break the rules i get away with it. I 'm still there for my friends though and do my homework and obey other rules. Dress code is such a silly rule. we should be able to wear what ever we want. i understand it for njrotc but not for school. It's soooooooooooooooo silly. by the way, we had a socer game yesterday and we won 4-3. Yeah!!!!!!!! we have another game thurs. wish me luck!!
Lov Ya,
Kristin
i really liked what you said about not falling for the tempations that all people are given. as far as suffering the discrimination that the first sergeant is giving you, read the following:
Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing right and are patient beneath the blows, God is pleased with you.
1 peter 2:20.
you seem to be a great influence on your friends (ie. the penguin chick in alabama (a.k.a. my daughter)), and i appreciate hearing from someone who is willing to put their beliefs out there for all to read! keep up the great work that you are doing, and you WILL be rewarded. i was.
p.s. i was not being nosy in the buisness of the penguin fan, i was doing updates on her computer while i had the day off. just thought she might like to know.
btw, i like the title of your blog; "stuff".
Thank you, Mr. Ken!
you're welcome!
I used to break all the rules I could when I was younger. In retrospect it was a waste. Keep up your strength!
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